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Get my girlfriend to trust me again

As a nationally certified and licensed professional counselor, Janis helps her clients resolve relationship conflicts and trust issues. It's been a week since your secret was revealed. You feel awful, maybe a little depressed, and incredibly guilty. Every morning you wake up hoping it was that bad dream again you've been having for the past few months. But this is real. Your secret is out and your partner knows.

SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship - IDENTIFY & LEARN From Your Mistakes!

5 Ways To Deal With A Partner Who Has Trust Issues Without Falling Into An Unhealthy Relationship

One of my best friends in college was seeing this guy for several years. They were talking marriage and kids. I guess you could say it was pretty serious.

One day she discovered messages between him and several other girls. They were NOT a casual conversation. They had been together for so long, I guess it was just assumed that they had the same definition of what cheating was.

Surprisingly I see a lot of people in this situation these days. To her, talking dirty and sending risque photos back and forth with other women was a huge breach of the trust they had built. She became suspicious about everything.

So, she became overbearing and untrusting of him. If that makes you as uncomfortable as it does me, then you can imagine how much it sucked to be in a relationship where you feel like you have no control. That glass could be tipped at any moment, the relationship, irreparable.

No matter whether you did something to deserve it or not, she is feeling pretty vulnerable at this point. So, she will be shielding herself from being able to be hurt. Each situation requires a different approach. There are cracks in the foundation of your relationship and without being addressed properly the entire relationship could crumble and fall. Apologies would be a quick fix. If you get back together and leave these issues unaddressed… you are in for a much messier breakup that will damage you both worse than giving her a little time will.

We all screw up from time to time. But whatever you did broke something that the two of you built together. Real trust like that takes a lot of time to establish. However, breaking it can be as easy as not mentioning that you were fired or flirting with another woman.

Or it can be broken by something as epic as cheating or lying. Whatever you did, the trust can be rebuilt, however, it will never be completely restored.

So, if you expect things to go back to the way they were or you want to spend the rest of your life with this woman then you need to be prepared to be the epitome of transparent and trustworthy.

You know that urge that tells you to keep something secret from someone? If she asked you to give her time or space, you are going to send her one text and then give her what she asked for. Here are the points you want to get across. You did what you did. However, you also have to take responsibility for the fact that you hurt someone you care about. Accepting that this is the underlying privilege.

Think about it this way. You would spend a lot of time thinking about the actions you are about to take because it will affect them. Well, in a relationship, the person you are with is supposed to be your partner.

So, accept that and move on. If she asks you questions, be prepared to answer them without being offended. No sugar coating, no white lies. One of my friends had this issue when he and his ex got back together after he got caught in a lie or seven. When in reality we are all just attached to our phones. If she is being a bit overbearing about it, then there is a second conversation that needs to be had. Here are the points that need to be made.

There is a reason this is an important conversation. Any woman who is dealing with trust issues will make unreasonable requests of you. So, where most people will tell you to ask her what she thinks will make her feel safe and give it to her, I suggest making it a conversation where you both discuss solutions.

Some people take the pain of that and carry it with them for the rest of their life. The best way to counteract this is by establishing a healthy line of communication between the two of you.

Let her know that you have no intention of hurting her. And let her know that when she starts to feel like you might hurt her that she can come to you. When she does come to you and says. If you both agree to communicate better, and actually listen without getting your feelings hurt, then you should be able to respond to her being distrustful by asking her questions. I had a friend in college that dated a guy for an entire year.

He had her convinced that him taking 2 days to respond to a text was due to work and school. Yet, he always had his phone glued to his hand when they were together. In fact, he was an ambitious cheater, dating three girls at the same time. Letting her guard down would take a lot of patience on his part and an active effort to separate her memory of her ex and her current relationship.

It works kind of like PTSD. Loud noises can bring a soldier who has seen combat right back to the middle of a war zone. They look for combatives around every corner. Keeping this in mind, leading the conversation by asking questions allows her to come to a conclusion on her own. You can ask….

Pay attention to how I worded these questions. Everyone has insecurities. You do too. You just might handle them differently. Someone can say something to you and change your self-perception for your entire life. This can be positive or negative. I mean a teacher I had when I was a kid told me that I could sell ice to an Eskimo. Since then, I have always had faith in my ability to get my point across. It built my confidence. When people do this they are trying to establish themselves above the people they are directing the statement towards.

As kids, we build this thing that psychologists refer to as a Love Map. We learn how to accept love. For example, if someone felt abandoned by their father, they might look for relationships with men who had personality traits, and even physical traits, of their father again and again.

If they had someone in their life as a kid, they might find themselves drawn to abusive relationships as an adult. Psychologists speculate that this is an attempt to rewrite history. The thought process is that if they can just change the dynamic of the relationship as an adult, they might feel some closure on the relationship with a parent or first love.

This rarely works. However, if you are wanting to salvage a relationship with someone with this kind of deep seeded issues, my suggestion would be to offer to go to a couples counselor with her.

No woman wants to feel like a project for you to fix. Listening is key! Stop it! Be happy! You just have to be there for them and let them come out of it on their own.

I think that you have a pretty good grasp on things. If you were to take one thing from this article, I would hope it would be the advice on how to watch HOW you communicate and having an open dialogue constantly between the two of you.

Bad Breakup. Dating Your Ex Girlfriend. Friend Zone. Get Over Your Ex Girlfriend. Hot And Cold. I Cheated. I Miss Her. Long Distance. Make Her Love Me Again. Mistakes Men Make. Rebound Relationships. She Cheated. She's Distant. She's Ignoring Me.

How to Heal From Broken Trust and Get My Partner to Trust Me Again

At some point or another, no matter how wonderful your marriage is or how many bluebirds chirp on your windowsill in the morning, someone will screw up and trust will be broken. When something like this happens, trust needs to be rebuilt. Trust in a relationship is tricky. Sure, groveling can help.

Trust is non-negotiable. It's one of the major tenants of any healthy relationship. It just makes things more complicated.

And yet, it is easy to lose that trust — if one betrays it. Just like a beautifully-knit sweater. Pull on one loose thread, and the entire sweater is likely to unravel … so quickly. And it is difficult to earn that trust back.

The Best Ways to Show Your Girlfriend She Can Trust You Again

Updated: February 2, Reader-Approved References. Earning a girl's trust back after lying won't be easy. Whether you lied about spending time with another girl, about cheating on her, or about something else entirely that truly hurt her feelings, it'll be hard to get your girl to trust you and to have faith in you again -- hard, but not impossible. If you're willing to be honest with the girl, to give her time and space, and to avoid lying in the future, then you can slowly, but surely, begin to win the girl's trust back along with her heart. So how do you do it? Just follow these steps. The first step in earning her trust back is sincerely apologizing for lying.

How to Get a Girl to Start Trusting You Again

In fact, helping her overcome her trust issues will deepen her respect, attraction and love for you and make the relationship better than it ever has been before. The most important part of getting your girlfriend to trust you again, is about getting her to have certain realizations about relationships. For example: For a couple to stay together for life and to actually be happy and never want to leave each other, their love needs to mature and grow over time. The same goes for us.

For some people, cheating means an automatic break-up. But others may still have feelings for their partner, and depending on the circumstances they may want to try and keep the relationship going.

I've been dating my girlfriend for seven years and I plan to marry her, but recently, I learned that she cheated on me about a year ago on two separate occasions. She was living abroad for a few months and during that time, she was with two different guys, including one who was married. During that time, she also stopped talking to me.

My Girlfriend Doesn’t Trust Me: 4 Ways to Fix it

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SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: Getting Her To Fall In Love Again

One of my best friends in college was seeing this guy for several years. They were talking marriage and kids. I guess you could say it was pretty serious. One day she discovered messages between him and several other girls. They were NOT a casual conversation. They had been together for so long, I guess it was just assumed that they had the same definition of what cheating was.

Building Trust After Cheating

Trust is the foundation of any relationship and it is imperative for a good, healthy relationship. Regaining trust is not easy and it takes time, patience and dedication. In order to re-establish trust, you have to ask yourself hard questions and figure out what you were hoping to gain from the behavior, says Michael J. For example, if you cheated, you need to know why you did it and what you were hoping to gain. Were you feeling neglected, insecure or not getting your physical needs met? Once you know the reason behind the behavior, you can take measures to prevent it from happening again. Take responsibility for your actions. A better understanding of your behavior makes it easier to accept responsibility, Salas says.

First, you have to make sure that it really won't happen again. If you doubt yourself or your future self and think you may make the same mistake, then spare the girl.

How do I get my girlfriend to trust me again? I know we still love each other but she just can't let go of the past. I want to fix things but I don't know what to do. She has done stuff that has hurt me as well but I have let it go.

Winning back someone’s trust after really messing up.

Trust is fragile, and once it has been broken, it takes time and effort to rebuild. Fortunately, you can take steps to show your girlfriend that she can trust you again. Regardless of whether you lied to your girlfriend about your whereabouts, flirted with someone else or snooped through her belongings, you have to accept responsibility for your behavior. Do not try to rationalize, minimize or blame her for your behavior that resulted in a loss of trust.

Trust is one of the secret ingredients to smooth out the bumps in a relationship. Building trust requires commitment to certain behaviors. Although there is no immediate sure fire way to make your girlfriend trust you, there are behaviors and character traits you can cultivate to put you on the right path. Start with yourself.





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