Do shy guys like to be chased
A Michelin two-star chef at twenty-eight, Violette Lenoir could handle anything, including a cocky burglar who broke into her restaurant in the middle of the night. But nothing had prepared him for a leather-clad blonde who held him at bay at knifepoint and dared him to take her on. Two people who thought they could handle anything now have to take on each other. It's a battle neither one expected. But with their futures on the line, they have nothing to loseSEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: The Secret To Get A Shy Guy
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: How to Get Shy Guys to Chase You! (tricks to get him to make the move!)Content:
Shy men can find nerve to ask for a date
Do guys like chasing girls or do they like the girl to make the first move? I've seen a few variations on this one and I've developed a theory about it that perhaps some people may find useful or I hope at least thought provoking.
This is a greatly expanded version of an answer I gave to a question. I submitted it as a myTake to make it easier for people to find as a reference. My theory is: Whether a man loves to be the pursuer or not and to what degree is proportional to how they feel about themselves. If a man is very self assured then he doesn't need a woman to validate his sense of self esteem and chasing a woman and trying to prove his worth to her makes for a good time.
Conversely, if a man isn't very sure of himself and his attractiveness then a woman's approval becomes more important to him because it serves as proof to himself of his self worth and masculinity and "the chase" looks like a tedious and pointless exercise. After all, how can you chase someone in the hopes of proving you're the real deal when you're not convinced yourself? The role of the man as the pursuer transcends culture and nationality as far as I know just as what men prefer in a woman does and there's probably a reason for that.
I think that the reason for that is biological and not cultural. It's an innate part of the female psyche: for the " knight in shining armor " to come and sweep her off her feet is part of the female fantasy and I would argue that this fantasy begets our societal norms and not the other way around.
I used to have a beef with women in general for that having men do all the work of courting but it's something I've let go of and accepted long ago. It's part of being human and not an obsolete societal custom so I can't fault them for not going against millions of years of evolution and denying their basic instincts. But being the pursuer is easier said than done if you don't know what women think about you. After years of reading I still don't really know what qualities in men that attracts women.
Certainly confidence and a masculine aura are a significant part but those things are much harder to quantify than the qualities that attract me to a woman. Unless you naturally possess these qualities there is kind of sense of flying blind, though.
That is, if you're not downright introverted. Although we aren't as expressive of it and we like to put on a tough face, the average man deals with many of the same insecurities as the average woman. I get the feeling that women are told or naturally come to believe that if a man is interested in her, he will pursue her.
But often I've found both first and second hand that that isn't always the case. And when a woman grows up to find men gazing at her but not chasing her I would guess that would then be a great source of confusion for her. Then she comes on this site and asks "Why does he stare? Yet, judging by the amount of questions I see on here about it, shy guys are not unattractive. So what does all that mumbo-jumbo mean if you're a woman?
It means that you may need to adapt your approach to attracting the man you desire depending on his personality. If he's the cocky alpha male type then he may love it when you play hard to get.
In that case you can drop hints, use body language and subtly attract him and count on him to take things forward. If he's not you might have to put in some effort. Usually a shy guy will not chase you. At least not at first. This should not reflexively be taken as a sign of disinterest. His eyes aren't fixated on you all the time because he's overcome with ambivalence. The more introverted he is, the less likely your usual style of flirting will provoke their intended response and you'll have to ratchet it up accordingly.
Now that doesn't mean the roles are reversed and you're now the man, but it does mean you'll have to be a bit bolder. You'll probably need to be the one to break the ice and make some idle chit-chat.
Instead of appearing disinterested to provoke chasing you may need to adopt a more warm, inviting persona. Smile at him, use a sweeter tone of voice, act playfully, use open body language arms uncrossed, slightly leaning forward, etc For the average guy just being bold enough to approach him and acting really friendly towards him should be enough to get the ball rolling.
But what if he's really inhibited? Have you ever had someone you didn't know just start talking to you and over time meaning days, weeks, maybe a couple months not hours your comfort level rose enough that you just became friends. It's sort of like that.
It's difficult to describe. I guess you can say that if you want to be a shy guy's girlfriend - just be his girlfriend. Act as if all the flirting were already done and you're a couple not all at once. There's an empty space where his girlfriend should but he hasn't found someone to put there so just walk right in and make yourself at home. Take his staring as a tacit "I want you more than anyone in the world" which is pretty much what it is.
The eyes are a dead give away. You're not going to get rejected. I get the feeling that dating for women is kind of like fishing. You make yourself the nice shiny lure, you cast yourself in and you wait for a bite. It's passive and it's easy but if you want a certain fish to bite and he doesn't you don't catch it. So you can fish for a really confident guy but for that average or introverted guy that catches your eye you might have to do a little hunting too.
Which is okay. As a man I don't know if such an approach feels limiting to a woman but if you want someone there's nothing wrong with flipping the bird to the societal norm and going and getting them yourself. Sometimes we get lucky in life and good things come to us, but sometimes you have to reach out and take them too or else they float away. In a modern, egalitarian society I think it should be socially acceptable for both men and women to chase the object of their desire or not to.
As equal beings women should feel free to take matters into their own hands and be strong and bold if they want to. The only thing that still eludes me is how big a part that this fantasy of having men chasing them plays in a woman's attraction. As a heterosexual male I've never felt those kind of feelings and I have no idea if what I said above would cause a woman no longer to desire that person.
If a woman were to flirt in an obvious way to a man and having him not respond at the same time knowing that he wants to would that kill the mood for her. I have no idea. So that's my theory. Whether it's right or useful I leave to you.
What I wanted to do was to delve into the male mind a bit so you women can see things from a different angle. Since I see so many questions about shy guys and the chase I wanted to put my thoughts down in a long and concise post. I'm personally fascinated by the inner workings of women's minds and I think women are the same way so I thought I'd share a view through my eyes. Personally I don't like the chase, but I don't think I'm unattractive either.
I have a lot of qualities that I think women would love in a guy. I'm somewhere in between, I'm not down on myself but I don't have a huge ego either. I don't approach girls very often, I admit, but I'm not looking for the woman to be the man either. Truth to tell, I've never had a girlfriend yet. It's not something I'm depressed or desperate about and I won't go into details about my life in an attempt to explain why. But it's something I haven't done before.
I'm inexperienced and I just don't know how these interactions are supposed to work but I know that once it happens and I experience it for myself then I'll understand. Then I'll have the confidence I need to chase. Some guys are like that, they just need a girl to get them over that first hurdle.
Then they can run the rest of the race. And is interested. It sucks to waste a ton of time "chasing" an uninterested female who thought it was fun to just see how far you'd go.
As I shy guy , that's my only option. Most women don't like us anyway. Share Facebook. Add Opinion. Annariel Xper 4. I heaven't read all the comments, so if i repeat someone it's because of that. I am a pretty shy woman it's hard to say girl at 22! He's absolutely brilliant but has some bad communication habits, although i know he likes or at least used to like me it is really hard sometimes as i am under social pressure that claims that he should pursue me.
We're both inexperienced me definitely, i didn't ask him, it's too early , so it is hard on both of us. I really want him to feel more confident about contacting me first, as i am a bit tired of making first moves all the time, and sometimes it feels like he's not interested. So reading your article is a great help! If you have any advice, that would be helpful! WillaBee Xper 1. You're article is incredibly well written and you put a great deal of thought into your theory, which I appreciate and agree with for the most part.
I've dated a few shy guys and a few who are more outgoing. In my experience, the willingness of a guy to chase a girl really has little to do with their overall confidence or sense of self in the long run. Yes, the thrill of the chase has a certain allure Girls want to feel desired, but maybe it's an innate primal instinct During courtship women see how attentive and assertive a man will be and what lengths he is willing to go to take care of her.
Signs A Guy Wants You To Chase Him
Dating advice is outside the scope of this site, with this article being a semi-exception. Over the years several women have written me to tell me reading this site has helped them understand the actions of a shy guy they were pursuing. With that in mind I thought I'd try to be even more helpful and write a whole article outlining what it's like to be a man who's really shy and inexperienced with women. At the end I give a few thoughts on what to do if there's a shy guy in your life you're interested in. Combined, the points below will describe a guy who's really, really inhibited and awkward around women.
But when you try to make conversation, he seems to disappear. Perhaps you misread his signals. It may seem counter-intuitive. What does he have to be anxious about….
Is He a Shy Guy or Just Not That Into You?
Women can do anything a man can do. They are heads of state, CEOs, run businesses, serve in the military, and even outnumber men in universities. Women attract and men chase is definitely wired into the human brain through millions of years of evolution. But, no girl wants to be rejected. So, you want to see signs a guy wants you to chase him before you make a move, especially a bolder one. A good friend of mine is handsome and charming with a good job. You might actually have to do some chasing.
Inside The Mind Of Guys Who Are Shy And Inexperienced With Women
Men are supposed to be the aggressors in the relationship, but you're fed up with all the arrogant guys hitting on you at the bar. No wonder you've fallen for that soft-spoken, sensitive fella. He's sweet, he's sensitive and he's adorable. He sneaks you bashful glances and smiles like a puppy. Behind his mysterious, impassive veneer, you bet there's a passionate Romeo waiting to emerge.
Many of us, it seems, like shy guys. I like smart, nerdy, shy guys so much, I married one. It's not surprising: these men tend to be quiet leaders — successful and widely respected.
What About Shy Guys?
What if a guy is interested in a woman, but is too shy to ask her out? If this guy is surrounded by high-value women who will not pursue or chase him , then is he doomed to be alone forever? On a related note, I was talking to a guy recently about differences between men and women and how they show interest.SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: 6 Signs a Shy Guy Likes You
Subscribe To Our Newsletter! The question is how to make a guy chase you using male psychology? Ever wonder how to get him to have eyes only for you? Truth be told, leading a man on can appear to be meanly cruel. But you can find the balance and figure out how to use the expert studies to make a man chase you. Well, the issue is knowing where to draw the line.
The Chase Theory and the Psychology of the Shy Guy
To be honest, MOST guys like to chase—not be chased. And most of the advice we share here is geared towards women who want men to chase them and who want to attract an outgoing and romantic type of guy. Some guys really do want to be chased. And the truth is, this is a special kind of relationship you might want to try at least once, just to see how it feels and how you respond. Sure, some guys are shy and some men really want to feel desired by a woman, especially if they have low self-esteem.
Do guys like chasing girls or do they like the girl to make the first move? I've seen a few variations on this one and I've developed a theory about it that perhaps some people may find useful or I hope at least thought provoking. This is a greatly expanded version of an answer I gave to a question. I submitted it as a myTake to make it easier for people to find as a reference. My theory is: Whether a man loves to be the pursuer or not and to what degree is proportional to how they feel about themselves.